Are you always late?
Help for the chronically non-punctual
By Vicki Voisin, Special to CPN
“I’m late I’m late
For a very important date.
No time to say ‘Hello.’
Goodbye.
I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.”
– The White Rabbit,
”Alice in Wonderland”
Can you relate to the White Rabbit? Always running behind? Always rushed? Always overwhelmed? If so, you are probably ‘chronically non-punctual.’ And you’re not alone – an estimated 15 to 20 percent of the U.S. population find being on time a challenge.
People who are typically late are usually aware that their lack of punctuality is a bad habit that results in stress, worry and anxiety. Although they hate always explaining and apologizing, they just can’t seem to be early no matter how hard they try.
There is a perception that people who are always late are disorganized, disrespectful, unprofessional and even lazy. In my experience, this simply isn’t true. The chronically non-punctual never intend or plan to be late. In fact, they generally plan to be exactly on time. They abhor feeling rushed and they’re embarrassed that they can’t be prompt. Even with these very strong feelings, they always skate in just a few minutes past the deadline with their long list of excuses for being late.
Their problem, put simply, is most likely the result of over-planning their schedules and underestimating their time.
The bad habit of always being late can’t be changed with good intentions alone. You must first make the conscious decision to be punctual. Follow that up with an honest self-evaluation: why are you always late? Once you recognize the underlying reason for your tardiness, you’re ready to begin the hard work it will take to change your self-sabotaging actions.
Here are five of the most common reasons people are habitually late and some ideas for transitioning from chronically non-punctual to persistently prompt.
- You believe being early is annoying: you’re just wasting time waiting for other people. You view wasting time as akin to the first deadly sin, so you try to make the most of every minute. Since you don’t want to arrive early and have nothing to do, you plan to arrive exactly on time and the result is that you’re usually late.
Solution: Always plan to arrive 10 to 15 minutes early. Instead of viewing this as a waste of time, consider it your “warm up” time. Do athletes just run out on the court when the starting buzzer sounds? No! They take time for a few shots to warm up and get ready to play. Use your “warm up” time to gather your thoughts, plan and relax.
- You underestimate how long something will take you. This isn’t a case of poor planning, but a matter of thinking you need less time than you actually do. You have to be realistic about how long things take – especially routine activities like getting ready for work.
For example, you estimate it takes you 20 minutes to drive to work. Since you’re supposed to be at work at 8 a.m., you pull out of your driveway at exactly 7:40 a.m. In reality, the drive takes you at least 30 minutes on a good day so again, you’re always late.
Solution: It’s important to keep track of exactly how long certain activities take you. Never estimate, and then plan for more time in case of “tech-nical difficulties.” You simply have to be a bit of a pessimist and assume something will happen to take you longer than you planned: parking may be difficult, you may hit every red light, there may be heavy traffic, etc. While you can always say your tardiness was someone else’s fault, there’s no need for that when overestimate the time it will take you.
- You allow other people to hold you up. You may know exactly how much time something will take you, but your planning may be waylaid by someone else if you don’t learn to say “no.”
Solution: Decline or defer requests by having a few stock responses ready: “I have to be at work in a half-hour and just can’t talk with you now.” Or, “I do want to help you but I have to complete this brief by 3 p.m.” Or, “I hate to cut you off but I have to leave right now for a dental appointment.” This takes practice, but with stock responses on the tip of your tongue, you’ll stay on schedule.
- You always try to squeeze in one more thing. When you have an extra five minutes, you attempt to check off one more thing on your list – fill up the gas tank, drive-thru for a latte, pick up the dry cleaning or throw in another load of laundry.
Solution: Instead of squeezing in one more thing, just leave and use the time at the other end for your “warm up.”
- You can’t find your “travelers” when you’re ready to leave. “Travelers” are the things that go with you everywhere: your keys, purse or briefcase, cell phone, etc. The inability to find them when it’s time to leave is frustrating and will make you late.
Solution: Have a home for your travelers and always put them in the same place so they’re waiting for you when you rush out the door.
You can make all the excuses you want, but you control your actions and punctuality is ultimately your respons-ibility. Being chronically non-punctual is a bad habit, but it’s one that can be changed with hard work and determination.
You’ll need continual effort to change from chronically non-punctual to persistently prompt. The result will be a new, calm you who estimates time correctly, has stopped the squeeze-ins, arrives early and has planned for the transition time. Your reward will be peace and renewed self-confidence.
Editor’s note: Vicki Voisin, “The Paralegal Mentor,” is a paralegal, writer, educator and speaker. Voisin spotlights resources, ethics issues, organizational tips and other areas of continuing education to help paralegals and others reach their full potential. She also publishes “Paralegal Strategies,” a weekly e-zine available at www.paralegalmentor.com and co-hosts The Paralegal Voice, a monthly podcast produced by Legal Talk Network. A past president of the National Association of Legal Assistants, Voisin is employed in the Charlevoix, Mich., office of Running, Wise & Ford.
