Beer has been helping white guys dance and unfortunate-looking folks find romance since 1862, according to posters found in dorm rooms everywhere.
But the world’s greatest beverage can also serve as an effective palm greaser.
That’s one takeaway from the recent federal grand jury indictment of Arnold Jones, a resident senior Superior Court judge for Greene, Lenoir and Wayne counties.
Jones is accused of offering an unnamed FBI agent “a couple of cases of beer” in exchange for text messages that were exchanged between two phone numbers.
He explained to the agent that the messages were “just for him” and “involved family,” according to the Nov. 3 indictment.
“I want down low – see what you can do without drawing attention,” Jones allegedly told the agent.
While Jones and the agent had initially agreed on a beer payment, the judge ended up giving him $100 for a “FBI disk that was represented to contain the text messages requested by Jones,” the indictment states.
Before his arrest, Jones served as chairman of the North Carolina Innocence Inquiry Commission. He has resigned from the position and Anna Wagoner, a senior resident Superior Court judge in Rowan County, is acting as the alternate chair, according to the commission’s executive director, Lindsey Guice Smith.
Attempts to reach Jones were unsuccessful.
Unfortunately, the indictment does not disclose what type of beer Jones allegedly offered the agent.
This guess might be too on the nose, but the Isley Brewing Company in Richmond, Virginia, which is home to an FBI division headquarters, makes an oatmeal porter called, The Bribe.
Isley Brewing says the dark roasted brew has “notes of coffee and chocolate.” And, in Jones’ case, maybe a hint of desperation.