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Robbery refined

Heath Hamacher//November 19, 2015

Robbery refined

Heath Hamacher//November 19, 2015

Though Sidebar hasn’t personally been there, he’s always heard that Wilmington is a charming place. And apparently at least some of its crooks even have good manners.

According to The Star-News, a man in mid-50s to mid-60s, wearing a motorcycle helmet and sweater, waltzed into the Han-Dee Hugo’s convenience store on Carolina Beach Road shortly after 10 p.m. on Nov. 18. If still photos of the man captured on video are accurate, he leaned leisurely against the counter and began a dialogue with the female clerk that went something like: “Give me your money, please.”

It’s unclear whether it was the magic word or the implied threat of violence inherent to any heist, Sidebar would imagine, that prompted the clerk to comply, but comply she did, handing over an undisclosed amount of cash to the blond-bearded freebooter.

The courteous culprit then, according to police, escaped into the night—on foot. We can only reckon that the motorcycle helmet was meant to be more of a disguise than a protective measure. (How much cooler would it have been if he’d have worn a cowboy hat and tipped it after his completing his caper?)

Disclaimer: Despite the ridiculousness of this whole thing, Sidebar finds nothing funny or cool about robbery, armed or otherwise.

Wilmington police are asking anyone with information regarding the well-mannered mystery man to call them or shoot them a text so they can properly make his acquaintance.

The newspaper article doesn’t say this, but Sidebar bets they’ll be much obliged if you do.

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