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What if I told you…

At halftime of the Feb. 28 basketball game between Duke and North Carolina, Michael Jordan announced that beginning next year, UNC’s football team will outfit itself in uniforms bearing his Jumpman logo. For the 2017 squad, he proclaimed, the sky’s the limit.

Or, as he so eloquently put it, “the ceiling is the roof.”

A packed Dean Dome erupted, the internet exploded.

But another blockbuster announcement — one that the Chicago Tribune called a blow to the nation — comes from a U.S. trade court: A Snuggie is a blanket.

Now, while not nearly as profound as the declaration that a ceiling and a roof are the same thing (and the unwitting assertion that the gridiron Heels need not reach for the stars in ‘17), this finding by the U.S. Court of International Trade is significant.

It matters because, as a blanket, not clothing, China-made Snuggies — a blanket with sleeves — will be taxed at 8.5 percent rather than the 14.9 percent tariff levied on pullover apparel, the Tribune wrote.

New York-based Allstar Marketing Group makes the Snuggie. It challenged the government’s assertion that the sleeved shroud of As Seen on TV fame was clothing similar to a “priestly garment.” The judge agreed with Allstar, citing, among other things, the lack of closures in the Snuggie’s back.

As this Sidebar reporter types this in the comfort of his home office, he is sipping coffee and sporting his Forever Lazy, an adult onesie that he now believes, by virtue of its zippable back flap, is clothing.

He knows that as surely as the government now knows that Snuggie tax revenue that once had the sky as the limit now has a roof as the ceiling.

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