Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.
May 31 might have been one of those days for Saul Alford, a 27-year-old Canton man who, if all reports coming from a Waynesville newspaper are even remotely true, had one hell of a hump day.
According to a June 6 article in The Mountaineer, Alford started his day by overdosing inside a Haywood County courthouse, where he had gone not to answer to authorities, but to support a friend.
A court clerk, law enforcement officers, and firemen rendered aid to the downed man, who was taken by ambulance to a local hospital. Apparently not crazy about his accommodations, Alford soon removed his I.V.s, left the hospital, and broke into someone’s home. Exactly what all happened is unclear (to the media and probably to Alford), but after threatening to kill someone, damaging some more property, stealing a Samsung tablet and smashing a car windshield with a pipe, the occupants of that car — two women — took matters into their own hands. One of them apparently teed off on Alford’s noggin with a baseball bat, leaving some very visible head injuries.
Alford was taken to a hospital, where he was treated and released into the waiting arms of sheriff’s deputies, who booked him on numerous misdemeanor charges. His mugshot tells the story of a lacerated man proverbially so very glad that the day was over.
This Sidebar reporter wonders if ever there was a man so happy to lay his bleeding head down on a jail pillow.